Thursday, August 31, 2006

21 Things That I Love.

  1. I love it when my Grandpa pops off with one of his quirky sayings. My favorite of all time is: “You’re gettin’ so tall we’re gonna have to get you some short shoes!”
  2. Seeing my sister lullaby my niece to sleep for the first time.
  3. Finding money in the laundry. YESS!
  4. Getting to the bus stop just when the bus arrives.
  5. Coming home to find my house cleaned and Chris making dinner. That’s just awesome.
  6. Going “Yard Sale-ing” with my Dad on Saturday mornings and honking at every pedestrian and bike rider we saw. Once we got flipped off by a little boy!
  7. A towel fresh out of the dryer when I get out of the shower
  8. The way that babies smell and are all soft and snuggly
  9. My nephew’s sense of humor. Once he gave me a Christmas present and he said “Here Anni. Maybe its a new boyfriend!” HA. HA.
  10. Seeing my Mom do the “Doo Doo Brown”. She’s a gangsta!
  11. Dancing to the music!
  12. Singing These Boots are Made for Walkin’ at divey karaoke bars
  13. My Grandma’s cabbage rolls.
  14. Racing go-karts with Kayt
  15. I love the sound of my nieces laugh and her mischievous smile
  16. Bar-b-ques on the beach with my friends
  17. Playing Scrabble in Golden Gate Park
  18. I love driving over the Bay Bridge and seeing the bright red “PORT OF SAN FRANCISCO” after a vacation
  19. I love the smell of Gardenias and Christmas at my Grandparent's house
  20. Saturday afternoons at Luigi’s and Basque food at Noriega’s in my home town.
  21. Most of all, I love that I have a great, solid family and friends that love me back. You can’t ask for more than that.

Friday, August 11, 2006

I have drunk tap water for 24 years and I have not gotten cancer.

At my place of employment I am responsible for supplying a plethora of refreshments for our clients. One of these items happens to be Bottled Water. Guess who gets to lug these 40 pound flats of bottled water to the refrigerator 4 times a day in heels? You guessed it, Yours Truly. Bottled Water and I, we are not friends.

Bottled Water: I AM THE GREATEST! Anni Hispanni, it is you who must supply me to those who bow before me! Only I can quench their thirst! OBEY ME!
Me: Fuck you Bottled Water. You can kiss my ass. You are not the boss of me!

Okay, so this exchange never happened. But I still hate you Bottled Water. I do not understand why people seem to believe that Bottled Water is the only option when it comes to hydration. Whatever happened to settling for good ol’ tap water? I’ll admit, in some places that stuff can taste, well, like ass. I even supply a lovely, economically friendly, Filtered Water dispenser RIGHT NEXT TO THE REFRIGERATOR. I have a sign above it that reads “Please assist _______ in our effort to recycle. Please refill empty bottles with filtered water. Thank You.” Perhaps people have forgotten how to drink from a cup these days?

Real Conversation:

Thirsty McFucktard: Uuuumm…Miss? You seem to be out of Bottled Water.
Me: Oh…It seems that way, doesn’t? Okay well, there’s filtered water next to the fridge.
T McFT: *looks confused and examines the dispenser* Uhhh so I just use a cup then?
Me: YUP! It’s just that simple!

I wonder how these people dress themselves in the morning let alone operate heavy machinery. Plus, he addressed me by “Miss”. His body is in a trunk in my basement with a paper cup shoved up his ass.

Or maybe it is just that we are at risk of nuclear fall out should there be no bottled water in sight.

Real Conversation Part II:

Uptight O’Quenchy: Excuse me! Uuuummm…YOU’RE ALL OUT OF BOTTLED WATER!
Me: Okay calm down. Everything is going to be okay. I’ll call 911. Or you can just drink from the toilet down the hall.