WE'VE GOT THE FUNK!
If you're looking for a disco party, you've come to the wrong place. Though I have been known to rock an afro and bust out The Hustle from time to time, I just haven't been feeling like my bad self lately. My groove thang does not want to shake, thank you very much.
I know that things are pretty bad when I start choosing to stay inside my apartment watching reruns of Wifeswap in my stretch pants. By the way, if you have never watched Wifeswap I highly recommend it. On last night's episode one wife asked the other wife "What if your son came to you one day and told you that he wanted to be a GAY GARBAGE MAN?!?!". I could think of worse hypthetical scenarios, myself. I think my response to that question is "Sweet! Take down the recycling and when you get back we can sing showtunes together!" What can I say? Despite the general malaise that has taken over my psyche, I am still an optimist!
I digress...I actually have no idea what exactly is causing me to feel like an emotional zombie lately. That's what is so frustrating about it! I just can't pinpoint the root of all this evil going on inside my head. I used to have a solution for this feeling. It involved drinking enough wine to kill a horse while bawling on the phone to anyone who was brave enough to answer and take on The Crazy. Usually it was my Mom. Nothing really phases her though. I am sure that I inherited the Fuck It Switch from her, in fact. I'll provide evidence in the form of an email she sent me today:
Anni,
I was sending an email and I was including the smileys from smiley central. Saw this one and immediately thought of you. I know you will appreciate it. PS. Papa’s hip is broken.
I shit you not. The Smiley graphic was of a smiley wearing a scarf and beanie trying to pry his tongue of a frozen pole in the snow. Hilarious that not only did she think of me when she saw this graphic, but also that I would TOTALLY IDENTIFY! After all, I do tend to make poor, nonsensical decisions like licking a frozen pole all the time!Oh yeah! Papa's hip is broken too! Just thought I'd let ya know!
Jesus, I don't even know what to do with that piece of information. I have always struggled with feelings of guilt for living far away from my family and not feeling like an intregal part of "The Tribe". This is just icing on the cake. I am going home for Christmas so I will be able to spend some time with my ailing Grandfather, but I guess that I am afraid that this may very well be the last Christmas I have with him. Just sort of a bummer! I doubt there is a Smiley graphic for broken hips and broken hearts.
Despite all of this, I just have to remember that my life is really, really awesome. I live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, I have two jobs that I absolutely love (most of the time!), my Grandpa and a lot of other family members that I love are still around to spend Holidays with, I have a gay room mate who takes out the garbage and listens to techno pop while he does it, and most of all, I have great friends to shake my groove thang with when the occasion calls for it.
If you're looking for a disco party, you've come to the wrong place. Though I have been known to rock an afro and bust out The Hustle from time to time, I just haven't been feeling like my bad self lately. My groove thang does not want to shake, thank you very much.
I know that things are pretty bad when I start choosing to stay inside my apartment watching reruns of Wifeswap in my stretch pants. By the way, if you have never watched Wifeswap I highly recommend it. On last night's episode one wife asked the other wife "What if your son came to you one day and told you that he wanted to be a GAY GARBAGE MAN?!?!". I could think of worse hypthetical scenarios, myself. I think my response to that question is "Sweet! Take down the recycling and when you get back we can sing showtunes together!" What can I say? Despite the general malaise that has taken over my psyche, I am still an optimist!
I digress...I actually have no idea what exactly is causing me to feel like an emotional zombie lately. That's what is so frustrating about it! I just can't pinpoint the root of all this evil going on inside my head. I used to have a solution for this feeling. It involved drinking enough wine to kill a horse while bawling on the phone to anyone who was brave enough to answer and take on The Crazy. Usually it was my Mom. Nothing really phases her though. I am sure that I inherited the Fuck It Switch from her, in fact. I'll provide evidence in the form of an email she sent me today:
Anni,
I was sending an email and I was including the smileys from smiley central. Saw this one and immediately thought of you. I know you will appreciate it. PS. Papa’s hip is broken.
I shit you not. The Smiley graphic was of a smiley wearing a scarf and beanie trying to pry his tongue of a frozen pole in the snow. Hilarious that not only did she think of me when she saw this graphic, but also that I would TOTALLY IDENTIFY! After all, I do tend to make poor, nonsensical decisions like licking a frozen pole all the time!Oh yeah! Papa's hip is broken too! Just thought I'd let ya know!
Jesus, I don't even know what to do with that piece of information. I have always struggled with feelings of guilt for living far away from my family and not feeling like an intregal part of "The Tribe". This is just icing on the cake. I am going home for Christmas so I will be able to spend some time with my ailing Grandfather, but I guess that I am afraid that this may very well be the last Christmas I have with him. Just sort of a bummer! I doubt there is a Smiley graphic for broken hips and broken hearts.
Despite all of this, I just have to remember that my life is really, really awesome. I live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, I have two jobs that I absolutely love (most of the time!), my Grandpa and a lot of other family members that I love are still around to spend Holidays with, I have a gay room mate who takes out the garbage and listens to techno pop while he does it, and most of all, I have great friends to shake my groove thang with when the occasion calls for it.
Labels: cranky, sobriety is sexy, The Crazy
posted by Anni Hispanni at 11:34 AM
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