Friday, September 01, 2006


  1. Pigeons. Seriously, they are filthy rats with wings.
  2. The people that feed the pigeons in outdoor eating areas. Cause Hey! Wouldn’t we all love a little pigeon shit in our salad? I know I sure do!
  3. People that refuse to acknowledge that they are not a size 2. I think a 10 pound roll hanging over a woman’s pants is really sexy. Raawwr!
  4. Raised trucks and SUV’s. Just wrong on so many levels.
  5. Parents who allow their kids to tease other children because “They're just being kids”
  6. Gum smacking
  7. When I am writing a birthday card and I make a mistake. Someone once told me that God is playing a trick on you when that happens. “Hey Peter watch this! I just made her spell ‘Birtday’!”
  8. Running out of toilet paper at my Mom’s house. The only person that decides that the linen closet down the hall is a better place than under the bathroom sink.
  9. Getting a phone call at work from my boyfriend asking me where something is. HATE. THAT.
  10. People on the bus that do the following: Talk LOUDLY on their cell phones, don’t get out of their seat for the elderly, get all pissy if you accidentally touch them. Its public transit, your right to personal space gets checked at the bus stop.
  11. When some asshat comes up to my desk on their cell phone and reaches for a pen and paper on my desk. Okay, last time I checked this was MY desk.
  12. I hate when fireman and police will turn on their sirens just to get through a red light. Emergencies only, people. So don’t get pissed when I decide to crank call 911
  13. When someone calls and doesn’t leave a message and then calls right back again. GET A CLUE!
  14. Forgetting to turn down the volume on my iPod and shocking the bejebus out of my eardrums. You gotta eeease into the Joni Mitchel.
  15. Dishes in the sink that have not been scraped off first. Picking out water logged macaroni and cheese makes doing the dishes so much more fun!
  16. When in a crowded store there will be a line of people swaying around one person that is blocking the isle. Gah! Just say “Excuse me.” already and get on with the show!
  17. If I invite you to my house for dinner, please don’t call at the last minute and cancel or ask if Joe Blow can come along.
  18. Saying something really stupid in front of a group of people you have just met. Like I did last Saturday: “Hey it would be funny if their mascot was a big red sock!” “Actually they're playing the Reds.” “Oh.”
  19. George Dubbya!
  20. I hate that Extreme Makeover show. Really any kind of media that promotes the idea that women need to cosmetically enhance themselves to be beautiful.
  21. Miracle Whip. Barf.

With that, Happy Impeach Bush Day! WOO!